After such a break from writing the blog I feel as if I should write something funny to entertain our readers....but the thing that currently occupies my thoughts isn't funny at all, sorry! Today is the first day of Lent, a 40 day period (excluding Sundays for rest) of Xn preparation before Easter. Some of you will have seen my question on stalkbook, asking about the thought process behind your chosen sacrifice for Lent. I've been aware of many friends participating in Lent in some way, most of whom are not C'lic. Common activities that I've heard are giving up coffee, alcohol or chocolate for a month as a sacrifice, designed (I think) to draw one's attention towards the big man and the meaning of Easter, and remind us of the big man as our provider in every sense.
I've never participated in Lent, but I have fasted occasionally through the 40h famine, for personal time with the big man, and perhaps somewhat unusually, during the day through the Ramadan festival. The times that I've fasted have always been because I want to focus my prayer on something specific or seeking wisdom; fasting from food has given me a constant reminder (hunger) that I want to be praying, and dependent on the big man. When I've fasted during Ramadan, it's been for those same reasons and for reminding myself to focus my prayer on our cousins during this special season for them. I've also done it so that I have some common ground with those who are doing the same activity, who seem to be more open to discussions during the period, and are usually unaware that Xns are also called to fast in our holy book.
I want to confess that one of the side effects I've found when fasting during Ramadan has been frustration and intolerance of the few cousins who complain bitterly about their suffering during this period and do very little (if any) work during work hours which are reduced by law during the period anyway....a little hard to take when I'm fasting and working normal hours and at normal pace. It leads to the opposite attitude to that which I seek when fasting, not exactly conducive to quality prayer, nor more importantly, is it big-man honouring. I also confess that when I'm fasting on other occasions that whilst hunger does prompt me to pray and I have felt more certain about decisions I've prayed about at such times, my attitude is still pretty poor and my attention span is limited. I remember reading a great chapter in Richard Foster's "Celebration of Discipline" about fasting methods...must have a look at it again.
I saw a stalkbook post today recommending using the Lent period for beginning a new habit of recording 3 things each evening that one is grateful for in a notebook, and sharing one with friends for both encouragement and accountability. It's something that a good friend and I have done daily for the past few years via daily SMS in addition to sharing one thing we're praying about, although 2014 is demonstrating less commitment to our long-term habit! We started doing it during a period of time when one, possibly both, of us was really struggling with life and needed some big man-given perspective. It really, honestly worked. Over the years I've had many days where I have genuinely struggled to think of one thing that I'm grateful for (that is without resorting to things I could say on any day such as food, shelter, friends, the big man's son etc.), woeful I know. I've also been honest when I haven't prayed or felt like praying. Sometimes the prayers that I'm praying would be better named "things I'm ungrateful about", but it is all a part of an up and down emotional life, periods of constancy and periods of change....I'm comforted by the many different kinds of prayers found in the book and the confidence that gives me in coming to the big man, no matter how I'm feeling.
So, Lent. I'm going to re-read another book by the author I mentioned above called "Prayer". I'm going to take some time in our weekly 'meeting' to read and talk with Him about Easter, and I'm going to fast from food on that day and structure the day around times of prayer when I usually have my 3 meals. Please hold me accountable and ask how I've gone.
