She says...28 days, 1,000 CVs and 'The Cave'

After completing a couple of short contracts for the Yemen program of the Disaster Response Unit last year, I was still surprised to get a call 3 weeks ago offering me a 4 week contract in northern Iraq.  Excited to be going, humbled to be offered work in a field very foreign to my experience, sad to be leaving him and Rhodes behind, I packed my bag and flew via Qatar to Erbil, the capital of the Kurdistan region of Iraq.

He and I had done some Google-based research before my departure and learned that Erbil is predicted to be the new Dubai. Great wealth, fast cars and heavy investment were hallmarks of a place that I was enthusiastic about exploring. In reality, Erbil might become the new Dubai by 2070, if very, very lucky and a certain OAG* is displaced, or preferably defeated. I have been describing the city as a very run-down version of Amman. I've found quite a few nice cafes, and two even served coffee worthy of a repeat visit. My favourite serves good coffee, pizza and pasta, and has a wonderful view of an enormous tank (one one day I visited), an artillery-pick up (on another visit) uniformed men carrying large and heavy guns, and a lot of army-camouflage fabric. I asked the waiter what they were guarding and was informed that it is the US consulate. Every time a vehicle slowed down in front of the cafe, I felt my muscles tensing, as if perhaps, I would have time to run.

The weather in Erbil has been reasonably nice outside, generally 12-20 degrees during the day, but in the house/office, it’s almost always freezing. We usually only have a few hours of power a day, and then generator power for 4 or 5 hours if we're lucky, so I spend a lot of the time feeling cold and sorry for myself. It’s nothing compared to what most IDPs / Refugees are dealing with, of course. My colleague and I have affectionately dubbed the house/office ‘The Cave’. It’s dark, cold and really not that pleasant. But what joy upon discovering a hot water bottle in the bathroom (wonderful when the power has been on long enough to warm the water!).

My role here is basically ensuring we’ve got everything we need to run the head office including:
1. Functioning utilities (ha! No power or generator today for 8h so I nearly froze and my computer battery drained so I couldn’t do any work)
2. ADSL (none of the 20 companies we’ve contacted can provide it here)
3. Transport (taxis are currently deemed an abduction risk for expats, but it’s the only mode of transport we have)
4. Staff and interviews. I advertised 4 positions here for national staff and 5 in Duhok, and I received almost 1,000 applications.  About 10% of the applicants applied for at least 2 and sometimes all 9 positions. The Translator needs to be female (culturally, and women tend to be more accurate at translation), and despite it saying so in the job requirements, 90% of the applicants are male, and many don’t speak English. 
5. An established relationship with all key stakeholders. This one is actually going ok, but it seems so crazy to be getting known when I’m leaving in 2 weeks. Hopefully people are connecting with the organisation and not me.

I'm due to finish up at the end of next week. He and I have a planned rendezvous in Dubai for relaxing weekend before heading home. I'm really, really looking forward to it. A great opportunity to be here, good for my CV, and good for building relationships in the organisation, but 4 weeks apart is too long. I miss him and I miss Rhodes.

To finish up, I thought I'd share some of the pearls that I've read in the 600-odd CVs I've managed to get through so far. I admit that if I were to apply for a job in Arabic or Kurdish, someone could write a very funny blog about mine:

Regarding language ability:
"Excellent level of extreme Kurdish"

"English: not bad"

"Being bilingual gives me the chance to function efficiently in both English and Arabic and Kurdish."

"I like English language and it is a part of my body."






Motivation statements and Greetings:
"I need Developed, rival, creator, I will give him my experiences to we grow together, Managing in a modern style, Believes that the team perform more than personnel."

"I am pleased to be one the interview that submitting to work in your company if possible I would enjoy to be interviewed"

"I am ready to do my best in work and work hardly"

"if you feel that i am feet for any of this position"

"Hope My Email finds You as well"

"Dear NGO stuff"

"I had other skills and experiences, which I able to describe with you by meeting, because all the time I am going to build my acknowledgment."


General gems:
"Accunted 2003-2005, Accunted 2006-2007, Translator 2008"

"I'm working on Duhok with displaced people who want to get a job Advanced training nudity CV Writing"

"Name: Ahmed Mohammed, Date of Birth 26 September 1991, Sexual: Syrian Kurd"





* OAG = Organised Armed Group. I think I had added at least 30 new acronyms to my brain database since arriving here; 28 belong to various militias and political parties and the other 2 are yet to be identified. To add to the confusion, each group seems to be known by at least 3 different names.